I’m angry with the world. Especially today. I may be ill but my brain is still fully functioning, maybe because I’ve been too ill to do dishes or sort through toy boxes that I have sat and thought about life.
When my nan passed and throughout the following years I got oh I’ll be there for you when you need me. When I’ve worked for free and helped build business I’ve got oh ill promote you and we will continue to work with each other. When I’ve been a shoulder to cry on I’ve had the if you need a shoulder to cry on I’ll be there. Well I need all of that and more at the moment.
I need people to start supporting my business; this keeps food on the table. It also reassures me I’m not shit and that hard work pays off. When you support a small business you help feed and cloth and support children’s hopes and dreams. I need some people to vent at. My life is work, work and do shit for other people because I’m too damn nice to say no, care for my children, both developmentally on par, except one is much bigger and stronger. I give my body up to become a soft play area daily. I live by a routine and god forbid I open something the wrong way, line up a car in the wrong order or serve water in the wrong cup or push my sleeves up to my elbows!
I need people to back my project, this is a story a story that could have the potential to make changes and it may not effect you now but it will somehow in the future.
I need answers from our political parties about the education and provision for SEN but have found the media will even try and cover that over, but god forbid I shoot a fox! (This is not me condoning shooting foxes, I just think that debate is not over but masses are passionate about it and good they need to be but let’s debate that and educate on something bigger now, it’s important to not kill foxes they are beautiful but beyond that other services and our children are being educationally culled) I need answers on why it’s going to take a further two years for an autism diagnosis when you can spend 30 minutes with my child and see. I need to know why mental health wise I have been failed on numerous occasions. I need to know why people dislike me and I need people to be honest.
I’d really love it also if people would stop metaphorically shitting on me cause am I really that bad of a person. Yes I’m brash, yes I’m not very good at filtering my mouth, but I’m honest and isn’t that the best way to be. I may come across cold but get to know me and I’m a teddy bear honest!
So life please can I have my big break now I’m tired, penniless and my motivation is fading!