How it feels 

Everyone’s experience of depression and mental health is completely different. I am going to share what my experience of it is like. 

Anxiety is the black cloud that comes on that shiny day, it lingers for a while then it suddenly rains. Anxiety is worrying simultaneously about several different scenarios and things but not remember what you need to do for the day. Anxiety is like wearing the shoes that you really wanted and convincing yourself to buy them even tho they never fitted, then trying to walk around in them as normal as possible. Anxiety is like the strong gust of wind that knocks you back five steps on those happy days. Depression feels like a disconnection to the world, it’s wanting to interact and socialise because you know that’s what you should do but you can’t and don’t want to. It’s making plans you never really wanted to make, it’s enlarging your ego then an internal battle of confidence. It’s like being stuck between double glazing with no where to go. Both depression and anxiety can leave you not wanting to move, not wanting to get dressed and not wanting to interact. It’s like a tunnel with no light at the end, it’s like ploughing on with no real purpose no real reason. It’s being surrounded by friends but feeling lonely. It can be numb, so numb you don’t know the difference between happy and sad because everything is beige and just numb. It’s like trying to walk with ropes attached to lorries. 

And how do I tell people this; 

I simply just say I am ok.  My fight is internal, it’s invisiable and I work to keep it that way for I do not want to burden anyone with my fight. 

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